Yesterday was Isabelle’s birthday. And it’s a good thing we didn’t have a party. At our last prenatal appointment on Thursday, they checked me and I’m already 4cm dilated. Knowing this didn’t stop the guilt though.

Isabelle woke up asking, “Is it my party now?” I said, “sure it’s your party with mommy and daddy.” So we got up and went into the living room and Alan had put up decorations while we were sleeping. He even got her a pinata.

Isabelle wasn’t super surprised, it was sort of anti-climatic. She opened her gift and happily played while I made her some pancakes. Then Alan’s mom dropped by unexpectedly with pancakes. Isabelle didn’t touch any pancakes though. She was too busy playing.

A couple of times she asked where her friends were but she seemed to be having fun. She had cake.

And we went to the park so she could ride her new bike.

We asked her if she had a nice day and she said she had. But that night as we were all sitting on the couch she said, “everybody didn’t come to my party.” I just about cried (actually I did that night thinking about it). So, yeah, she had fun and I feel like crap.

But maybe that’s because I’m big and uncomfortable.

Isabelle’s birthday is coming up this Saturday, the 12th. She’s been asking for a pinata and a jumper for her birthday. But this year we aren’t having a big birthday party.

I feel so sooooo guilty. It’s the first year she’s actually asked for something party-wise. I think it’s because she’s remembering her cousins’ birthday party. And this year we planned not to throw a big party specifically because it’s so close to the baby’s due date.

We talked about it. And as Isabelle’s birthday got closer we were rethinking it. But, realistically, a party would be out of the question with me due in 16 days and not knowing exactly when it’s going to happen. It would have been stressful. Sure we would have had fun but it still would have been stressful. And then what if I went into labor the day of the party. So yeah, that’s why we decided against it.

We’re just going to do a little family party. Decorations, cake, and maybe a pinata just for the three of us. We went and ordered the birthday cake and got some decorations this weekend. And at the party store we got Isabelle a balloon so she wouldn’t feel like we left empty handed. But…but…I feel soooooo bad when Isabelle talks about her party. She drags her balloon around saying, “be careful, it’s for my party.” Aaaah daggers of guilt in my heart.

I don’t particularly like going to Ikea. Well, that’s because I don’t like shopping. Ikea is sort of a form of hell for me and Alan. Sort of like the mall. All the people, the lines going through the showrooms, and oh my gawd the creepy bathroom that I had to use because I’m pregnant and the baby was pushing on my bladder.

Very creepy bathroom. The woman before me had left toilet paper, wet toilet paper, all over the seat. And it was all over the floor. Ok, yuck! What was she doing in there?! I actually checked my shoes afterwards to make sure I wasn’t dragging toilet paper around behind me, there was so much everywhere.

But going to Ikea with Isabelle is actually fun. We went on Saturday and I didn’t even notice the press of people because I was too busy watching her toss her kitty into anything that could open.

Isabelle must have thought it was the freaking funnest place ever. Mostly every single picture I took, she had a big smile on her face.

And she got to leave with this little play kitchen.

And yes this post is titled Ikea weekend. We loved it so much we went back the next day! Ok not really on the love part. But we did go back. One of the pieces to a dresser was broken so we had to bring it back. Did you know that you just need to bring back the broken piece and not the whole entire two heavy boxes, one of which fell on Alan’s pinky toe? Good to know for next time.