Sorry for the quiet. I feel like I can’t get out from under the kids lately. Know what I mean?

I’ve been feeling a little uninspired lately. I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m in some kind of slump. No making. No drawing. I haven’t felt like getting on the computer. I’ve barely downloaded any photos off the camera all month though I have been taking pictures when the mood strikes, like this one from today as we were driving home.

Maybe I’m a morning person, after all, and the kids staying up late for months and less sun has knocked me for a loop. I don’t know. I haven’t felt like doing much of anything. I feel like I’m drowning in day to day living, the days are too short and I can’t get anything done.

I’ve been thinking about what I want to do with this space here of mine and I honestly don’t have an answer anymore. Yes, I’ve actually thought about not blogging anymore seeing as how I haven’t been doing much of it.

Would I be missed if I stopped writing here? I’ve always said that I write for myself. I’ve always thought of this as a journal that I can go back and look at whenever or wherever I have an internet connection. A journal strangers and family can look at. I am talking to my future self. But now? I don’t have anything to say to myself. I am royally stuck. I think I need to change gears.

When I sat down tonight to write this post, I was going to say how I was still undecided about what to do with this blog. I was going to write, how I was very seriously contemplating just shutting it all down and just exclusively using Flickr. Flickr has everything I need, I can go back and look at the pictures of the kids. I can access it everywhere. As I sat editing our monthly photos, all those thoughts and more were running through my head.

Then I uploaded these photos to Flickr and…

…and it dawned on me why Flickr by itself is NOT going to work for me. When there is no blogging, like last month, I don’t upload any photos. They sit untouched on my computer. Look at this set of all the pictures I took of Isabelle for month 76. There are four. F.O.U.R! I definitely took more than four pictures. I think I took more than four pictures. See, with no blogging, I have no clue. And no pictures to look at? I will definitely miss pictures.

So…so…I’m not going to stop blogging. In fact, there will be blogging! You might even get some pictures from the Christmas season on here because…F.O.U.R. pictures!! But as to how I’m going to do it? I don’t know. But at least now, I know I want to.

Oh and I completely forgot. These pictures. I didn’t say a thing about them. These are our monthly photos. Isabelle is now six years four months. Nathan is two years four months. I particularly love the zombie shots of the kids. I don’t know what it is with my kids and zombies. The other day Nathan was in the car singing a little song to himself…about zombies. ZOMBIES!!

And that tongue picture? Nathan has been doing that lately unexpectedly for pictures. So funny.

Tonight as the sun was setting, Alan was driving, Isabelle was sitting quietly in her booster seat playing, and Nathan was sleeping in his car seat. I got a glimpse of the beautiful colors of today’s sunset. A quick look and I pulled out my camera to take a couple of shots. I needed to take those shots. Just a few snaps to drive back the worry and the fear. Just a little breathing room so I could keep calm while I repeatedly turned back to make sure Nathan was still breathing.

That sounds soooo dramatic but that is where we were tonight. It was a regular night. Alan seared some snapper for dinner. Nathan loved it. He kept asking for more. Then his face started turning red. And he started scratching his little mouth like crazy. Scratched it so hard he broke skin in a couple of places. And he said it was itchy. And then his lips and the skin around his mouth started swelling.

We were slightly concerned that it was a food allergy so I called an advice nurse. She went down the check list and based on what was happening she thought it was a slight allergic reaction. But she wanted us to go to the emergency room since he is only two years old. When she mentioned the E.R. my worry level went up a notch.

We worked out which hospital we would head to and then the nurse said, not to worry you but if Nathan stops breathing on the drive to the hospital pull over and call 911. W.H.A.T?? Worry level through the roof!!!

So, we drove down to the hospital. It was the longest twenty plus minute drive ever. We got checked in, they made sure he was breathing fine, and then it was a long wait for a doctor.

When the doctor arrived he checked him out. Everything was fine. The doctor prescribed some cream and Benadryl. And we were discharged.

Those two hours felt like forever.