I’ve been sick. Food poisoning or something. I don’t know. But these pictures are the last time I was feeling like myself, on my nephew, Ebow’s, birthday almost a week ago.

I drove down to San Francisco with the kids and we went to the Exploratorium.

It was crotch grabbing fun. Ok what am I talking about? Sometimes when Nathan is happy he grabs his crotch or smacks it. It’s funny and weird.

Video on Flickr

Anyhoo, back to what I was saying. After the Exploratorium we went back to my sister’s for dinner and cake.

Well, that night I woke up at 3 in the morning throwing up. The next day I threw up a little. Not a whole bunch, not what I think of when I think food poisoning. And not many other symptoms. Well since then no more vomitting but I have been queasy and tired.

Today, after a short nap with Nathan, was the best I’ve felt lately. So, that’s why I’m posting after a week. Hi. Still here. Just not feeling so good.

I woke up queasy again today. It’s weird I tell you. But anyhoo, a couple of weeks ago we went on a tour of mosquito and vector control with our homeschool group. One of the kids asked what vector meant. And the answer? I have no idea at all because Alan joked around later about vector.

Vector, committing crime with both direction and magnitude. OH YEAH!!! That’s a line from Megamind. So, whenever I think of vector now, that’s what pops into my head. Yep. Thanks honey.

So, the tour. It was pretty interesting.

Who knew mosquito and vector control could be a good tour. Not me.

But it was a really good tour. We learned about how mosquitos grow.

We learned about how they are caught and studied. We learned a bunch of stuff in a greenhouse with fish tanks. Don’t ask me what. Nathan was fussing. I think he was hungry.

I think the most fascinating fact was about 100 years ago mosquitos were so bad that schools were closed down occasionally. Is that crazy? Not a snow day, a mosquito day! Can you imagine what a swarm of mosquitos that must have been, to close down schools?

Ok enough talk about bugs. It’s bugging me out. I’m all scratchy now.

Last week Isabelle had her ballet demonstration.

I didn’t bring my camcorder this time but used my little camera. It can’t zoom that close in and the lighting played havoc on the sensor or something because here you go. See for yourself.

Video on Flickr

I’m hoping the DVD from the school is better.

And here is the video we got from the school for last year’s ballet demonstration. I finally figured out how to get it off the DVD. Ok…it didn’t take me that long. I just forgot about it. So, yeah. A year late. Here you go.

Video on Flickr

Several weeks ago the kids were playing with the Wii balance board. Alan weighed himself. Isabelle weighed herself. And even Nathan. So, I hopped on too. And…

I’M NORMAL! It’s just a tad into the normal but it’s normal!

Yes, I was quite excited to be normal. And, yes, the Wii considers Alan and Isabelle overweight. I’m not too sure about Isabelle since her height is off. She’s grown and we haven’t updated her profile. I don’t really know how accurate the Wii is period. It’s probably way wrong but who knew that would make me so silly jump for joy happy.

Maybe it’s because growing up I remember my mom always making comments about my weight.

Ok maybe not from that young.

Or that young either.

This post is giving me an excuse to share some old pictures of me. I took them almost a year ago at my dad’s. They were hanging on the wall and I thought it’d be fun to share them on here. And well…almost a year later, here they are.

So yeah, what was I saying? Oh…my mom and my weight. Not just my weight. My hair. Everything. Anything. Something. It’s always something. Sometimes I wonder how she could have even been surprised when in high school I asked to go to a fat camp.

Yep. That’s me and Alan in high school. Awww look how young we were. And no, I wasn’t fat. Just your regular normal self conscious teenager. Thinking back I question myself, wondering if I took things overly personal. Or maybe I was focusing on the negative.

But I think comments like, “you’d be prettier if you weren’t fat” aren’t real confidence builders. Hey maybe I should have concentrated on the mom thought I was pretty and could be even prettier. No. That’s not right, I don’t think I was being sensitive.

I know she probably wanted what was best for me but I don’t think that was the right way to go about it. And it still isn’t. Making me feel like crap isn’t going to motivate me to do what someone else wants. Maybe that works for some people but not for me. I don’t know what the right way is. But I know what I don’t want to do with Isabelle.

In our world where the media pushes young, beautiful, and skinny I really hope that as Isabelle grows, I will instill confidence in her. I hope she will love herself for who she is. I hope that she knows I love her. And mostly I hope that she’ll be happy. I don’t ever want her to feel, mom makes me feel like crap about myself.

I think we’re headed in the right direction. I let Isabelle know I love her and I try to show her that I love myself.

Sorry this post meandered of into the depressing and sappy. What was I originally planning to write about? Oh yes, how did I get myself into the “normal”? And the answer? I don’t know. I haven’t done anything different. It just happened. Maybe the breastfeeding? And the “normal”? My weight fluctuates and it’s so close to overweight that I’m positive I’m back over the line now.

So much for normal.

I haven’t done one of these, what I wore today, in a while. And yes I was wearing Nathan. He is getting over a cold and is a little needy. I was trying to make breakfast but he wasn’t having any of that, crying up a storm.

So, I pulled out the wrap. He practically climbed in he was so eager to get in there, pulling his legs up and trying to slip them into the loops.

Yes my little guy is grumpy. That is why as I’m typing this or swyping this one handed on my phone, he is sitting in my lap.