Isabelle is Four!
Yesterday was Isabelle’s birthday. And it’s a good thing we didn’t have a party. At our last prenatal appointment on Thursday, they checked me and I’m already 4cm dilated. Knowing this didn’t stop the guilt though.
Isabelle woke up asking, “Is it my party now?” 
I said, “sure it’s your party with mommy and daddy.” So we got up and went into the living room and Alan had put up decorations while we were sleeping. He even got her a pinata.
Isabelle wasn’t super surprised, it was sort of anti-climatic. She opened her gift and happily played while I made her some pancakes. Then Alan’s mom dropped by unexpectedly with pancakes. 
Isabelle didn’t touch any pancakes though. She was too busy playing.
A couple of times she asked where her friends were but she seemed to be having fun. She had cake.
And we went to the park so she could ride her new bike.
We asked her if she had a nice day and she said she had. But that night as we were all sitting on the couch she said, “everybody didn’t come to my party.” I just about cried (actually I did that night thinking about it). So, yeah, she had fun and I feel like crap.
But maybe that’s because I’m big and uncomfortable.
oh.. that was ouch.. but i’m sure she’ll get over it once her little bro join her
happy belated birthday sweet pretty isabelle!! 
It is terribly sad when they learn feelings like frustration and disappointment, but alas, these are feelings that happen in “real life” and it is important for them to learn to cope and to get over things. don’t feel too guilty…
I’m here on the other end of the world waiting for your new baby to come. All the best!
I’m a long time lurker, but figured I’d comment.
I’m so sorry that you’re feeling down, but it looks like she had a great time. If it makes you feel better (probably wont) I don’t think many people remember their 4th birthday party. Honestly, the earliest I remember is about 10, cause I was so excited I was in the double digits. I know it seems crushing now, but next year, or three years from now, she won’t even remember.
Happy birthday Isabelle! That’s a great cake, and it looks like she had fun even if it wasn’t a big party.
You look fab! Sorry you are uncomfortable.
You’ve got to remember something. Children don’t alwyas come first in their “wants”! You’ll experience this more and more as your dtr. gets older!
You’re fine!!!!
Barbara
Happy belated birthday to Isabelle! She looks like a happy camper. I think even if she was disappointed that no one came to the party, she definitely knows that she is loved- and that is what matters most! I’m sure it is still disappointing that you can’t give her the entire world and more, but don’t worry. It wasn’t like anything traumatizing happened. If anything, it’ll build character.. the good kind that recognizes family values versus having lots of people and ‘stuff’ :]
Congrats (is that the right word?) on being 4cm too- how exciting!!!
Awww, don’t be so hard on yourself. She seems like she had a great time and as long as you two were there that’s all that matters. You look fantastic by the way! God bless you all with the delivery!
I’m glad you don’t feel (as) guilty anymore. It sounds like it was a great day and she won’t remember it prolly anyway.
Sweet, Koralin, you are probably going to disappoint her in so many ways over the years (a parent can’t help it, really) so try to go easy on yourself. 