Delusional?
Isabelle sleeps with us. She has since I can’t remember how old. Weeks old? Days? She has never spent a night in her crib. EVER.
When the baby gets here I expect him to sleep in the bed with us too. Alan thinks I’m delusional. He doesn’t think there’s room for all of us. He says Isabelle moves around too much. Sometimes she does move around, kicking Alan in the face or gut. Laying a foot over my neck or belly. But that’s only occasionally.
Alan thinks Isabelle needs to sleep in her own bed.
My sister sleeps with her 5 year old and her baby. I think we can manage. Am I kidding myself?
It’s definitely not do-able for everyone, but it’s not impossible for some either. My sister-in-law is also co-sleeping with her 5 y.o. daughter and 2 y.o. son since the they were born.
It is only modern thinking that insists that a child sleeps in their own bed. Throughout history and in many African cultures TODAY, children sleep with their parents until they are ready to move out. You are most definitely not delusional.
May I just add however that if your bed is too cramped, it may be worthwhile getting your little one to sleep in her own bed that you move into your room right next to your bed. Our little one has always slept with us and recently (due to pressure from people – oh how I wish I had just trusted my gut) put him in his own room and own bed. Overnight his little personality changed and he became very quiet and withdrawn. After a week of it, I moved his bed into our bedroom and he now sleeps in his own bed right next to us. Sometime during the middle of the night (usually around 3/4am) he climbs into bed with us. It’s great because he loves his bed now. We can’t get him to fall asleep in our bed, he insists on his own bed.
But if you’re happy to let her sleep in your bed, don’t feel pressured by other people to move her out. They need all the security they can get at that age.
I was going to suggest sidecaring Isabel’s crib to your bed, but just putting her bed in your room could work to.
My three year old sleeps right next to us in a toddler bed and our soon to be 6 month old sleeps in our bed. We have a queen size bed and it was cramped BEFORE the baby came. Leila has adjusted really well sleeping next to us. Besides being cramped we also moved her into her own space because she is a mover and we were worried that she would some way get next to the baby and either roll on him or kick him. If you have a king size bed you might be fine, we recently had the chance to sleep in a king size bed and we all sleep comfortably. All in all though it is up to you and Alan and what works for your family.
not at all!! without sarcasm too. my 4 year still sleeps with us and i wouldn’t stop her not until she wants to. when she’s 14 and we’re not cool anymore i’ll hold on to my memories of a sweet sleeping girl. i don’t ever want to say i never got to hold her enough or i didn’t get to sleep with her enough when she’s older. i think you’ll manage just fine…good luck.
We co-sleep with our new baby girl (week old) and our 3 year old. Yes it is cramped but it is possible. Thankfully the 6 year old doesn’t try to sleep with us anymore. =) If I had it my way I would have a big king sized bed that everyone could fit into if they wanted to be there. I would suggest you check out some attachment parenting websites to look for suggestions on safe co-sleeping with multiple children.
Just to let you know….Marie slept with me since she was 6 mos old to about 11 or 12, but I only have one so it’s different. From time to time, she still wants me to sleep with her when she feels scared or uneasy. I waited until Marie was ok to sleep on her own. I never made her. They eventually will want their own space and that’s why Marie wanted to sleep in her own room about pre-teen age.
My only worry would be that Isabelle, being fairly young, could accidentally roll over onto the baby in the night. I would probably try to move her to her own bed in the same room, at least till the baby was older. I know even among ardent co-sleeping proponents like Dr. Sears, it’s not recommended that small children sleep with babies under 9 months because they don’t have the same awareness of tiny babies that parents do.
But otherwise, no, I don’t think you’re nuts! I think everyone sleeping in a family bed sounds nice.
You’re not crazy at all! My almost 3 year old has insisted on sleeping in our bed since day 1, and after multiple attempts to get her to sleep in her own room/bed (pressure from family and friends), we finally gave up and realized we actually enjoy having her with us. Her baby brother often joins us in bed, but even after us being prepared to share the bed with him as well, we were surprised to find out he actually prefers to fall asleep in his own crib in the nursery. So, you never know…
She will likely come back to your bed in the middle of the night for a few years even if she does get her own bed. Two of my sister’s boys did. It’s funny because the older one, that just barely stopped doing that, when asked how he liked sharing a room with his 4 year old brother said in a mature voice, “He always ends up in mom and dad’s room anyway.”
You could ask her – as neutrally as possible – what she thinks about getting a big girl bed, assuring her that your door is open if she needs to be with you guys.
If she is not on board with it, she might get jealous of her brother getting to sleep with ya’ll. That is a consideration.
We co-sleep with our kids and it’s turned into a musical beds sort of arrangement. Miranda had her own bed–she was four when Ivy was born–but still came into bed with us. After a few months, I moved her mattress into our room because there really just wasn’t room for all four of us in a queen size bed. Currently Ivy is 6 and Miranda is 10, there are beds for everyone but it’s a toss-up as to who sleeps where any given night. Last night it was me and the girls in the big bed, Brian had stayed up late and there wasn’t room for him so he slept in Miranda’s bed. I think if you are flexible, it can work out.
However, I do think you are kidding yourself with the drawing of everyone nicely in their own space
I refer to how my kids sleep as “the hamster pile” with me underneath.
I didn’t say that I slept comfortably with everyone on the king bed. Yes, I do sleep with Ebow and Zinnia, usually without the husband. He sleeps in a whole other bed. I don’t tell him to. He goes willingly. I love sleeping without my husband. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE sleeping without him. Much more comfortable. Also he drools, snores, choughs and smells like cigarettes. Eeeeeeew! Very icky and unattractive. So better for the marriage that he goes and sleeps elsewhere. Yes, I love him, but nooooooooooo, I don’t sleep comfortably when he does sleep with us. Go get another bed for Isabelle and push it up against the wall, then push your king bed up next to hers and sleep comfortably with everyone.
Hey Kuky!
I totally had my son (who was 3 at the time) and newborn baby in bed with me and my hubby. We had a king size bed and it worked out fine. But when baby #3 was on the way, I had to kick the two of them out and we got them their own beds. haha… but they were willing and excited about it! =)
I’m sure you will all be fine.
Angela
You are not delusional. What works for one family may not for another. My eldest who was 3 at the time decided he wanted his own space shortly after number 2 was born. To my husbands delight. the important thing is they will come back for cuddles as long as you welcome them. Happy Sleeping!
mhhh.. I see I’m the only one here that loves the fact that 2.5 y.o. sleeps *in his bed* *in his room* since he was 2 months old, and 2 month old baby sleeps in his crib. I love sleeping intertwined with my husband and I love sleeping without a child kicking and punching me, and sleeping without fearing I will suffocate my baby in his sleep. And I adore my child and my baby. co-sleeping is just not for me.