Comments on: The Appointment

By: Kuky

Kuky — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 06:37:33 +0000

Oh I’m so sorry if I’ve come across negative about the doctor. She does have pictures of little animals and objects. Isabelle wasn’t very responsive with that and she couldn’t do the letters part.

And the developmental remark was coming from a good place. She has an autistic child and I believe Bethany, a previous commenter, is accurate when she says the doctor was just being overly cautious because she’s experienced that in her life.

By: Chris

Chris — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 20:11:36 +0000

Kuky,
I just wanted to let you know that my daughter has seen a pediatric opthalmologist for a different condition and our doctor has an eye chart that is NOT letters because they know that not all children know the alphabet! The eye chart has pictures of little animals and objects. Much easier for young kids. You’d think that would be pretty standard for a PEDIATRIC opthalmologist. And my daughter gets shy at the dr too. Just because a child won’t answer some stranger in a white coat does not determine where they stand on the development scale, and what an awful thing to say to a parent! I would expect more from someone who’s specialty is dealing with children.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 16:00:39 +0000

I just wanted to say one more thing – i love reading your blog. I love your parenting beliefs (at least how you come across in your blog). You and Alan appear to be incredibly caring parents. I think y’all are doing Isabelle so much good by allowing her freedom to be a child. I’m sure she knows how much you both love her.

I don’t know y’all in RL, but I think y’all are fantastic parents.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 15:58:18 +0000

I’m glad this appt was a little more hopeful for you guys. I think most children get shy in front of strangers.

And don’t stress about the alphabet. She’s only 3. I find myself comparing my daughter’s development to others at times also. It’s hard not to.

By: tiennie

tiennie — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 18:53:52 +0000

I always have to laugh when people want to say that kids are developmentally behind. I think kids feel your apprehension when it comes to appts and then they won’t “perform” for the doctors. My oldest daughter got weird looks because she was reading the eye chart backwards for fun and my youngest daughter when asked to “read” the eye chart couldn’t make heads or tails of the words: FLXZTD or some gobbledeegoop like that. She was finally able to read the word “TOZ” as toes when she got to the 2nd line from the top – haha!

I’m glad that you got more info and hope about Isabelle!

By: joanna

joanna — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 08:20:25 +0000

i am happy you are getting useful information and help!! lots of good wishes from us over here!!

By: Britt

Britt — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 21:04:54 +0000

Thank you so much for posting the update. I’d been checking all day yesterday — in a totally non-stalker way, of course.

Glad you’ve got so much support and such a sweet sweet little girl. Hope your weekend’s been a little less anxious!

By: your sista

your sista — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 20:12:08 +0000

Liz didn’t even speak or utter one work until she was freaking 5 years old. Then her first words were complete sentences. She had been observing everything quietly for her first 5 years, not saying a word until the day she felt comfortable. Ebow’s vocabulary is as extensive and equal to Isabelle’s and they are a whole year different. Nina (Liz’s little girl) is a year older than Ebow and her vocabulary is equal to Ebow’s and Isabelle’s. Yes, all kids are different. And even if they have a disability, it doesn’t make a difference to me. Trying to conform to society’s standards is pretty bullshitty to me. Who gives a hoot! Look at Helen Keller. She was deaf and blind and everyone still knows and admires her a hundred years later. She was brilliant. And just if your kid, friend, neighbor, parent or whomever has a ADD, autism, a missing leg, a missing eye, whatever, it doesn’t take away the quality of life and love one can feel, offer and take from life. I just appreciate everything I have and get in life and to hell to anyone else who thinks differently.

By: bingsy

bingsy — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 18:02:39 +0000

I taught preschool children with disabilities in the public schools for 3 years and taught at a daycare for a year and a half after that. I am also an aunt to 14 nephews and nieces – most of which had their diapers changed by me, etc. etc. I have been around a lot of children, many with disabilities.

I cannot believe at all that Isabelle would be suspected of delays. I was impressed by Isabelle in her birthday video. She showed pre-literacy skills. She knew the letters on her cake meant something, and she spoke the words that were written. The ending got a little garbled because she was very busy eating and saying, “cake,” but that is completely understandable to me, being a cake lover myself. You have proof in video!

I was leaning more towards Isabelle being ahead.

Just FYI: Testing is not an exact science, and even in my mind it seemed like public schools could qualify anyone they wanted as having a disability in some way. They could also disqualify someone with a true delay just the same. It changes from tester to tester and school district to school district based on their background and philosophy.

There are likely many online indicators of what a child Isabelle’s age should be able to do. You will see your gut is right. Isabelle is just shy in certain circumstances. My first time at an optometrists was 6th grade, and it was very traumatic for me – at 12 years. It’s understandable she would be shy there. Remember she also did the same thing at the princess thingy for Disneyland.

You have a lot that is worrying you right now. Don’t give the delay thing a second thought. You and Alan are right. The optometrist is off base here.

By: Samantha

Samantha — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 15:08:05 +0000

Let me just say, as a pediatric nurse, that MOST children are not comfortable talking to poky prody people minutes after they have met them. My little patients when I worked at Children’s Hospital sometimes went days before they trusted me enough to speak to me- and we are talking about some SIX YEAR OLDS! My Madeline is only a couple of months younger than Isabelle and she REFUSES to speak at the dentist office. And ABC’s?? Are you kidding me? My four year old (almost five) is just now to that stage! Molly is one of the best little readers there ever was and she learned her ABC’s at four!

YOU know your child better than anyone else does, if you truly feel like there is nothing to this claim of “developmentally delayed” then don’t worry about it. As a mother of three VERY different children I would have to say that there have been areas where a child has been an entire year ahead of where the others were at that age, but at the same time months behind in other areas. Personally I have never worried with the differences. It’s part of who we are. Even as adults there are areas that you know more than me but other areas that I know more than you, not one of us is smarter than the other.

Now, as a reader, I have to say that Miss Isabelle seems to be the perfect little new three year old. She likes to play with other children (That is HUGE in my book), she enjoys age appropriate toys (the whale), she has good motor skills (she can definitely jive)and she talks well on all of the videos I have seen- maybe that doctor should read your blog! LOL!

I hope this group of loving mamas can make you feel more at peace with your precious little Isabelle. We all love her too and feel a little protective over this beautiful girl that we have had the honor of watching grow. You know that old saying “it takes a village to raise a child”? We feel like part of the village.

Love you,
Samantha