I may be absent for a bit, I think. I’m not sure.

It’s Nestle. She’s not well. I’ve been distracting myself. But it’s hanging over my head. And I don’t want to talk about it yet. Maybe in a week when we know more.

And I don’t feel like blogging about other stuff. It feels wrong right now. But I’ll probably be around reading your blogs. They’re a nice distraction.

Thank you everyone for the good thoughts. I didn’t want to talk about it before. But drawing helped. A little drawing here.

And a little there.

Isabelle can always put a smile on my face.

The good news: the biopsy results have come back and they didn’t show any evidence of osteosarcoma. The bad: it may still be another tumor, cynovial cell. The vet said that is a harder diagnosis to make involving opening up the leg. But the survival rates are longer at 36 to 48 months with amputation.

I haven’t made any decisions yet. I don’t think we’ll be doing chemo (about $3000) or amputation (about another $3000). It’s too expensive and I can’t imagine poor Nestle trying to heal from that. I feel bad enough for her with just a biopsy. She’s showing a slight limp now when she wasn’t before. But imagine the whole leg removed. I’m worried about her quality of life. The first vet said that as well, with so little time left, she wouldn’t want to put her through an amputation.

I think we’re just going to do pain management…

Getting what she wants.

OFF pease!!

Well she hasn’t asked for the cone since.

I’m trying to squeeze in this post before we go for our nap. I wanted to thank you all again for the love being sent this way. I read every comment. I keep meaning to email you all back, each and every one of you, but as usual get distracted by Isabelle. But please know that I appreciate everyone who takes the time to write. And I’ll try to write you all back later.

Nestle’s limp from the biopsy is gone and she’s happy and playful like usual. Without any obvious signs of a problem, it isn’t this ever present thing hanging over my head anymore. I only think about it when I see the swelling in her leg. And though I’m not happy with the limited time we may have, I am content to know that we’ll try to make whatever time she has left with us happy and as painless as possible.

So back to regular blogging. I’ve been sewing and drawing and have pictures to share but for today I’ll share our Father’s Day. I hope you all had a nice one. We surprised Alan with breakfast in bed and a handmade card. Isabelle proudly declared, “I made it!” And then we surprised Alan with an outing to a paint your own pottery store, All in the Kiln. We just hopped in the car and I didn’t tell him where we were going.

I had the idea that Isabelle could paint something for Alan to keep forever and ever. I must have had the thought in the back of my mind from seeing all of Bethany’s painted pottery. I was thinking a cup. But Alan decided on a picture frame instead. He didn’t want to chance using it all the time and it being broken into bits and pieces.

We gave her different colors and just let her go. It started out fine.

But then the painting went the way our watercoloring usually goes, mixing all the colors together until they’re muddy. Then she flipped the frame over and started fresh. I got smart and only limited her to blue thinking I’d give her another color later. But then she got bored and stopped painting.

She was much more fascinated with the castles. Oh well…

This is another top from ISBN 9784579110438. It’s pattern #2, lengthened. I think it might be too long. I was thinking of making another altered version of this but I’ve changed my mind. I’ve moved onto something else.

Why? Because I’ve become a little obsessed with making the perfect top. And this top isn’t perfect. At my nephew’s 4th birthday party I realized it didn’t stay put. The gathering isn’t sewn down. It’s bunched around the tie. So as I was playing I realized it was moving around. It needed some fussing with to keep it looking the way I liked. I don’t like fussing. I just want to wear it and forget about it.

And yes, I want to make a top versus buying it. I don’t like it when I’m standing next to someone who’s wearing the same shirt as I am. Is that weird? And that won’t happen if I’m wearing something handmade. If it did, that would be sooooo twilight zone.

I have some criteria. I want something that looks good on me, is comfortable, and something I can wear a normal bra with. Though I do like these halter tops I can’t really wear a normal bra with it. I’ve tried a sticky bra with no straps on it but it’s just too strange. I wear it and it does work. But every time I wear it I wonder if my skin is absorbing some icky chemicals and who knows what. So yes, I’m on a mission to make the perfect top.