It’s Ebow’s birthday today!! He turned ONE YEAR OLD!! That year went by so quickly. I can’t believe it was a year ago I watched him being born. That was the most exhausting 53 hours of my life and I was just watching. Can’t imagine how Helen felt. But I will soon enough huh?

Ebow’s grown so much since then. Of course, that’s what happens. Babies grow.

They grow so fast.

This is Ebow’s alphabet caterpillar.

One day he was playing with it when Helen heard the little caterpillar giggle. She had never heard the caterpillar giggle so was curious on what made the caterpillar laugh and say it was being tickled. So Helen decided to experiment. She pushed the caterpillar’s legs and no giggle. She kept trying and accidentally got it to giggle. How? Well this caterpillar is a spelling caterpillar. It sounds out letters. So when Helen tried to sound out the word “SEX” it refused to say it.

Wow…a year old and already thinking about sex.

ha ha ha

I never used to be one of those woman who yearned for a baby, who wanted to be a mother. I never understood those woman. It was as if I was on the other side of a very tall fence. I couldn’t see what they were seeing.

Before I got pregnant I told Alan if I got pregnant, it was meant to be, if not then it wasn’t. But today it dawned on me. There is this immense joy in creating a life. I’m so glad…no that’s too simple. The feeling is indescribable. I’m so delighted and so thankful that this has happened. Carrying this baby is happiness. I am so glad I didn’t choose to miss this, that I am experiencing this.

I don’t know if this makes sense. It’s not something I would have understood before, being a woman who didn’t want children. And I really feel for those women who used to be like me, who don’t want to have children, they don’t realize what they’re missing. They don’t see. They don’t understand. Before I would never have understood this feeling. I could have so easily missed this magical feeling of joy and wonderment, this feeling that brings tears to my eyes. That is the idea that has been bubbling and growing in my mind these past few days. And just trying to put it into words is hard.

I wonder if Helen felt this way? Do other moms to be? Or is it something that only woman like me feel. Like a light bulb going off in your head: it’s the realization of what you weren’t seeing and understanding. Or is it just my hormones these past few days? Well whatever it is, I know it’s just the beginning. I think the feeling will grow and become even more when I’m finally holding my baby in my arms. I’m on the other side of the fence now and I understand and there is no going back.

I’m finished with the big bad baby blanket! Yay! And I actually finished it before the baby has arrived! Yay again! I can’t wait to take a picture of the baby blanket with my baby wrapped inside it. That won’t be for months yet. Now onto the next project…for the baby!

Oh, I almost forgot. The buds on the orchid bloomed. It always surprises me when plants in my care actually flower. I mean actually flower and not fall over and die. Every year it surprises me. I wish I knew what I was doing. I wonder…if I did know what I was doing in the garden would I garden more?

Probably not

Trixie is so sweet I could cry. She sent me a package. Nestle was so excited she wouldn’t even let me finish opening it before thrusting her little head in there (she was after the bones). I knew a book was coming and something for the dogs. But look what else I got! Something for the baby (the cutest little bib and little baby mittens so she won’t scratch her little baby face) and candy, YES CANDY for me!

Awwww *sniff, sniffle I’m all teary eyed*

Thank you Trixie! You’re AWESOME!

I’ve been trying to get Alan to take pictures of me while I’m pregnant. And then I changed my mind and said pictures of the BOTH OF US. So on the weekend I forced him to take pictures. Yes forced him. Over and over and said one more…one more. And I’m so glad. Now when our little baby grows up she’ll see how we looked when we were young and she wasn’t born yet.